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Behavior List

Executive Functioning: Forgetting Responsibilities



What's Happening:

Forgetfulness often reflects executive functioning challenges, not a lack of care. Memory, organization, and follow-through are skills that require practice and support.
THIS

Option A: Gentle / Connection-Based Response
Use this when forgetfulness causes frustration.
How to do it:
✔ Stay neutral
✔ Normalize learning

What to say:
✔ "That's hard to remember."
✔ "Let's figure out a system."

Why it works: Neutral responses reduce defensiveness.

Option B: Trauma-Informed / Nervous System Support
Use this when forgetting leads to shutdown.
How to do it:
✔ Reduce emotional intensity
✔ Offer reassurance

What to say:
✔ "You're not in trouble."
✔ "We can fix this."

Why it works: Safety supports accountability.

Option C: Calm Boundary + Skill-Building
Use this when forgetting becomes a pattern.
How to do it:
✔ Maintain expectations
✔ Add external supports

What to say:
✔ "This is still your responsibility."
✔ "Let's use reminders."

Why it works: Supports build independence.
NOT THAT

✔ Accusing them of not caring
✔ Punishing memory challenges
✔ Lecturing

Teach the Skill

Teach reminder systems and routines.

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This guide is for educational purposes only and is not intended to replace professional medical, psychological, or mental health care. Adapt strategies to meet individual needs.
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